Wednesday, January 23, 2008

On Psalm 23 - Travelling Light

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The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

(Psalm 23)

God's timing is always perfect, and I cannot think of a more relevant time for me to meditate on the beloved 23rd psalm.

I am in dire need of rest, both physically and emotionally. I feel stretched in all directions; my inner emotions are in upheaval, and I think I really need the rest and calming presence of my Shepherd.

Stress, fatigue, discontentment, disapointment, frustration, feelings of being trapped with no way out....these are some of the emotions I am battling with recently, and they overflow into every area of my life. Ironic too that I have also just read Max Lucado's book "Travelling Light", which touched on the topics of shedding our burdens and baggages, so that we can truly find peace, joy and rest in the journey with our Shepherd.

Indeed, I think God is showing me in this Year of Sabbath that I need to shed many emational burdens:

Burdens of want and discontent - and trust in my Shepherd.

Burdens of weariness and fatigue - and rest in His green pastures.

Burdens of disappointment and hurts - and allow Him to anoint my head with oil to sooth, to heal.

Burden of hopelessness - and allow Him to restore my soul.

Burden of fear - and allow His presence to comfort me.

Burden of envy - and realise that in the Lord's presence, my cup will always overflow.


Only then can I truly enter His Sabbath rest.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Even When It Hurts...

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Psalm 15 - A Psalm of David

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
He whose walk is blameless

and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue,

who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man

but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
who lends his money without usury

and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things will never be shaken.

Somehow, verse 4 speaks to me. I guess I am going through a challenging time right now in terms of my inner emotions. To call it "mid-life crisis" will be an exaggeration, but the truth of the matter is that I am at that juncture of my life when some truths begin to really dawn upon me, that because of my faith and my commitment to serve God where He has placed me, I probably will not be able to pursue or realise some of my life goals and ambitions... and somehow, that hurts me inside when I try to come to terms with these issues..

"I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that costs me nothing".
(2 Sam 24:24)

Such a familiar verse of Scripture. So often quoted. But it is a different matter when the reality of the "cost" stares at you straight in the face.

So it is comforting to know that King David himself acknowledged and identified with similar emotions. He should. For all the victories that we see in his life, we sometimes forget the difficult time he had while fleeing from Saul. To be so unfairly treated, and yet, out of his obedience to God, he chose not to retailiate, and spent long periods on the run. That must have hurt. That is a great sacrifice. From King David's psalms, it is also clear that he always had unwavering trust in the Lord's goodness and faithfulness, knowing that God will never short-change him. Walking right with God will ultimately have its rewards. How true that is in David's life!

And may that be an encouragement to remain steadfast in my commitment to serve Him, so that I will never be shaken.

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58)

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The "Bowl of Stew"

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Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" (That is why he was also called Edom. )
Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."
"Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"
But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. (Gen 25:29-34)

Esau will probably be most remembered as the guy who sold his birthright for a bowl of stew. Unfortunate for him since he actually had so much going for him: - Firstborn son of Issac, it was his right to inherit the Abrahamic covenant that through him, the nations of the earth will be blessed.

He blew his chance, gave up on the destiny that God had promised him in a moment of folly. Unfortunately for him, there was no turning back, in spite of his tears and regrets. Nothing could reverse his decision to trade his eternal destiny and blessings to fulfill an immediate desire, to meet an immediate need.

Sad. But before we go too hard on Esau for being such a "fool", chances are that some of us are also prone to make the same mistake.

Take my own life as an example. I have a God-provided career, privilege to support my wonderful wife through her full time service to God's work, 2 beautiful kids, good health for everyone in my family (including mum, bro, aunts, in-laws) and good relationships with them.

I have the privilege of serving him in a good church, with good leaders watching over me. I believe my destiny and inheritance in the Lord is a glorious one, for me, my family, my kids, provided I remain faithful in serving God and obeying Him.

But yet I cannot deny that often the discontent is very real in my life, especially when I grow tired, weary and start to lose focus on what is eternal. These are times when I start to manifest the "darker" and "worldlier" side of me. I begin to focus on my problems, my difficulties, my dissatisfactions in life. I grumble about the "sacrifices" I need to make to follow Christ and to serve Him. Instead of being thankful for the blessings of God, I start counting my costs in some of the "mundane" and "trivial" areas:

(1) Not being able to devote all my attention and time to my career to climb higher than where I am now - ie losing out in climbing the corporate ladder, in $$.

(2) Having to shoulder the financial burden for the family so that my wife can serve God full-time, thereby having to make some sacrifices in terms of my schedule, convenience and of course $$. With that, probably giving up on the lifestyle I secretly wanted, forgoing the dream car and dream house I wanted, cutting back on the high tech toys I wish I possess.

(3) "Thankless" tasks of having to serve in the ministry, people who don't respond despite the efforts poured in, unanswered prayers, things that don't go according to plan, frustrations that go along with serving in a "fast-changing-baptist-church". Re-living past hurts and disappointments.

(4) Other grouses....related to kids, family, people ...the list goes on.


Cant't deny there are moments when I almost wished I could have chosen my way and live the life I wanted. "Look, I am about to die, What good is the birthright to me?"

If this does not come close to to selling my birthright for a bowl of stew, not sure what does.

The problem for me is that in times like this, I let my dissatisfactions and desire for temporal needs overwhelm and cloud my vision of the important and the eternal. I somehow think that fulfilling my temporal desires will truly make me happy, even at the expense of the eternal. A lie. And yet I get tempted by it again and again.

By the grace of God, since the year of victory, the frequency of that happening and the intensity of negative feelings when they do hit has decreased. And in the year of Sabbath, I intend to minimise it even further, by walking close to Him. Needs work. But I want to "make every effort to enter that rest". And may I never be branded as one who despises my birthright as a child of God. I pray that I will see as Paul did in Ephesians 1:18:

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.
(Ephesians 1:18)

I look forward to the day when I am no longer tempted by that deceptively attractive bowl of stew.
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Streams of Living Water

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Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
(Psalm 1:1-3)



What a beautiful psalm to start the New Year - the Year of Sabbath!

Indeed it captures the essence of what I want to see in this year:
That I will delight in being anchored in the Word of God this year....just like a tree planted by the Stream of Living Water, where I will experience joy and peace that God has intended, and see fruitfulness and prosperity that comes from Him in all areas of my life.

By faith I claim this promise. By faith I shall see it fulfilled in my life in 2008!
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