Someone asked me recently for my "secret"; how I managed to stay and serve in FCBC for close to 15 years.
It set me thinking. To be honest, the journey has not been smooth. Over the years, there have been periods when I seriously thought about leaving.
It set me thinking. To be honest, the journey has not been smooth. Over the years, there have been periods when I seriously thought about leaving.
So in many ways, I guess I can identify with those who have left us for various reasons. I could easily have followed in their footsteps. The difference I believe is that God has lead me to view certain issues from a different perspective (after years of struggles); and that has been invaluable in helping me anchor myself in this family that He has placed me in. Let me briefly share them here:
(1) I believe that God placed me in FCBC. It is not by chance, nor is it a mistake that I am part of this body of Christ. Therefore, if I truly believe that God has put me here, then I will not leave unless God wants me to. And if God does lead me to leave, I believe He will also lead my spiritual leaders to affirm that decision. This accountability serves as a safeguard aganst deception, to ensure that my decisions do not go contrary to God's direction in my life.
(2) I believe that God has positioned God-fearing leaders over me for my blessings. They are not perfect, they do make mistakes, but I firmly believe that they always act out of good intentions to honor God and to bless His church. Hence, though I may not agree with every direction or decision that is made, but as long as they are in line with God's Word, I will submit, obey and do my utmost to be committed to their success. I believe that this attitude pleases the Lord.
(3) I believe that a major misconception needs to be eradicated, that we in FCBC are only task orientated and not at all people oriented. That is why people don't develop close friendships; and that casts doubts on how much people care for one another in this family. I have also heard comments that FCBC's DNA is such that it treats "broken wings" as liabilities that are at best tolerated. Hence, for people on the path of recovery to spiritual health, they are better off in a different church.
It is sad that such views are propagated over the years. As Pastor YC has beautifully illustrated in his blog : http://pascoaman.blogspot.com/2007/03/family-vs-friends.html; http://dreamersmoversshakers.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-on-closeness-vs-commitment.html ,
I think we need to differentiate between the "closeness" of "friendship" vs the "commitment" of "family". For me, at this stage of my life, the truth is that I am hard pressed for time to engage in additional activities to foster "closeness" within the spiritual family. Not that I do not think it is good to do so, it is just that this phase of my life just does not permit me enough time for that.
So does that mean that my spiritual family is less of a family since I lack the time to cultivate those relationships? Hardly. In fact, I am confident that if ever I asked for help, my spiritual parents and siblings will drop almost everything to come to my aid. That is the confidence I have in the commitment of my family towards me; and that, to me is far more valuable than feelings of perceived closeness in relationships.
And onto the fact that we are too task oriented to nurse broken wings back to health - again my own journey will lead me to disagree. Over the years, I have had my seasons of lows and struggles. Never have my leaders ever made me feel that I am a burden to them or to the ministry. Rather, their patience and understanding is one of the key reasons why I am still here, after more than 15 years.
(1) I believe that God placed me in FCBC. It is not by chance, nor is it a mistake that I am part of this body of Christ. Therefore, if I truly believe that God has put me here, then I will not leave unless God wants me to. And if God does lead me to leave, I believe He will also lead my spiritual leaders to affirm that decision. This accountability serves as a safeguard aganst deception, to ensure that my decisions do not go contrary to God's direction in my life.
(2) I believe that God has positioned God-fearing leaders over me for my blessings. They are not perfect, they do make mistakes, but I firmly believe that they always act out of good intentions to honor God and to bless His church. Hence, though I may not agree with every direction or decision that is made, but as long as they are in line with God's Word, I will submit, obey and do my utmost to be committed to their success. I believe that this attitude pleases the Lord.
(3) I believe that a major misconception needs to be eradicated, that we in FCBC are only task orientated and not at all people oriented. That is why people don't develop close friendships; and that casts doubts on how much people care for one another in this family. I have also heard comments that FCBC's DNA is such that it treats "broken wings" as liabilities that are at best tolerated. Hence, for people on the path of recovery to spiritual health, they are better off in a different church.
It is sad that such views are propagated over the years. As Pastor YC has beautifully illustrated in his blog : http://pascoaman.blogspot.com/2007/03/family-vs-friends.html; http://dreamersmoversshakers.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-on-closeness-vs-commitment.html ,
I think we need to differentiate between the "closeness" of "friendship" vs the "commitment" of "family". For me, at this stage of my life, the truth is that I am hard pressed for time to engage in additional activities to foster "closeness" within the spiritual family. Not that I do not think it is good to do so, it is just that this phase of my life just does not permit me enough time for that.
So does that mean that my spiritual family is less of a family since I lack the time to cultivate those relationships? Hardly. In fact, I am confident that if ever I asked for help, my spiritual parents and siblings will drop almost everything to come to my aid. That is the confidence I have in the commitment of my family towards me; and that, to me is far more valuable than feelings of perceived closeness in relationships.
And onto the fact that we are too task oriented to nurse broken wings back to health - again my own journey will lead me to disagree. Over the years, I have had my seasons of lows and struggles. Never have my leaders ever made me feel that I am a burden to them or to the ministry. Rather, their patience and understanding is one of the key reasons why I am still here, after more than 15 years.
This has been my family, and God willing, I will work towards making it my only one... till I see Him again.
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